He'd eat real slow

Makin' damn sure

I felt small

Always full plates for him

But for me

Nothin' at all

Each bite he took

Was measured

Every plate

Licked clean

He knew what it'd do

What it'd fuckin' mean

I sat there

Darin' to hope

Hopin' to fuckin' dream

The smell of garbage

Filled that air

Tellin' me

Hope would never be there

Every night

That fridge hummed loud

Callin' me in

But I never dared

I was too fuckin' scared

I'd just sit there waitin

Watchin' shadows on the wall

Willin' him

To get his fat ass

Down the hall

Took one step

After another

Tryna quiet that doubt

But every fuckin' sound

Felt like it was

Rattin' me out

Dug through the trash

Just to quiet the pain

Rotten

Roaches

It all chewed the same

I'm still here

Don't really know how

Don't really know why

Taught myself to live

Where I shoulda died

Didn't last long

'Fore he locked the door

I wasn't able

To dig anymore

I'd lay on my stomach

Just to dull the ache

Pressin' hard

To the floor

Prayin' sleep would take

I counted each breath

And tried not to cry

Starvin' don't kill you fast

Just makes you scream

Why

Guess what

I'm still here

Don't really know how

Don't really know why

Taught myself to live

Where I shoulda died