Yeah.. I know you're gone

But I've got some shit I need to get off my chest

So you're gonna listen now

I remember the days

I felt safe in your arms

I didn't really know nothin

'Bout right or wrong

I was just a kid

Lookin' up to Dad

Happy with what I had

Then her lies transformed you

Into a different kinda man

She called you monster

And I believed it was true

I got scared

Like any kid would do

And screamed I hate you

Then I remember runnin

Through the yard

Scared

Heart thumpin' fast

And breathin' hard

Hid underneath

That trailer frame

Hopin' you wouldn't

Say my name

But you found me

Dragged my ass out

Didn't care to ask why I said it

Or what it was really about

It was the first time

You raised your hand

But it sure as hell

Wasn't the end

That was when everything broke

When your love turned ice cold

Yeah I said those words

Didn't know what they'd do

I said I hate you

But I was only two

I didn't know

The harm words could do

I didn't know

I was losin' you

You heard hate

From a scared kid

And turned it into

The life we lived

Yeah, now I'm older

And I finally see

What that one moment

Did to me

It turned into nights of hunger

While tryna sleep

Of promises that you had

No intent to keep

Yeah there were plenty of days

You wasn't there

Even when you were

You didn't really care

And yeah

It turned into blows

I couldn't block

Then into pain

I learned to walk or sleep off

You acted like it was normal

Like that was just life

But it's not

It's just the hell

You tried to disguise

And man

I hate how it all started with me

Those three words

Still won't let me be

I was just a kid

I didn't understand

And that hell we lived

You built it with your own hands

Yeah I said I hate you

But I was only two

I didn't know

The harm words could do

I didn't know

I was losin' you

You heard hate

From a scared kid

And turned it into

The life we lived

Yeah, yeah I regret those words

Not gonna lie

And yeah I wish I could take 'em back

Sometimes

But a real man

Don't break a kid like that

Especially over somethin

He can't understand

So yeah

Maybe I do hate you

Now that you've

Broken me in two

But nah

It ain't that simple

Ain't that clean

'Cause part of you

Is still alive in me

And yeah I hate what you put me through

But I still love you

'Cause I was taught to

And I just haven't figured out

How not to