I’m sittin’ here lookin’ back now
Man, it’s all clear
There was a time
I almost disappeared
Didn’t know it then
Hell, I didn’t have a clue
But if I did what I was told…
I wouldn’t have made it through

I remember beggin’ dad to use the bathroom
Didn’t matter how I asked

He’d just say “soon”
Told him it was hurtin’

I couldn’t hold it in
He’d just smile and say

Not yet
Not now
You’ll break

Relief wasn’t somethin’ I was allowed
My voice broke

He knew what was wrong
But he didn’t care

Just made me hold it far too long

Not yet
Not now
You’ll break

Layin’ in that closet

Tryna will myself to sleep
But holdin’ it in ain’t a rule a kid can keep
My body gave out while I dreamed
Woke up so angry

I just screamed

Not yet
Not now
You’ll break

Years passed, but nothin changed
I was just stuck livin’ with that pain

Learned to hide the mess
Hopin’ one day I’d get out of it

And yeah, I made it out… but it don’t undo
What that kind of livin’ really does to you

Not yet
Not now
You’ll break

Didn’t know anything then
I was just a kid

Thought I was wrong
For what I did

But lookin’ back now
I see the truth

If I had done what I was told
I wouldn’t have made it through

Not yet
Not now
Yeah… I broke… but I survived